Posted: by Rhian Sunday, 10 February 2019 @ 13:53
I am the anxious one of team mantra, I’m probably the one that has the most self-doubt (see, I’m already assuming I’m the worst) and I have found over the years that I really need to invest in myself and love myself. I need my own space, my own time, and I’ve found my own ways to make ME feel great – because I’ve grown to realise that when it comes to love, you should start with yourself.
Here are some of my favourite little actions and favourite phrases that make me happy, fill me with positivity and self-love . I’d love to know yours…
Home or hygge
1. Tidy your room
Put on fresh bedding and make your little safe haven feel 5 star hotel Instagram worthy, you’ll have the best sleep ever.
2. Have a sort out
My favourites are clothes, make-up, shoes and jewellery – I’m not saying throw stuff out, I’m saying trawl through the memory banks and find some hidden treasures, if you happen to throw out a ten year old mascara on the way then great.
3. Find your public happy place
I love my flat, my brother’s house, the office, they’re all little secure havens that feel like home – but find a safe place where you’re happy to be completely anonymous. The streets of London are my favourite, but I also love Corleone or House (in Leamington Spa) – both places I can find a nice corner and just be alone comforted by the world continuing around me and take it all in. I like to pick places with interiors that feed my curiosity or propel me to another place, an Italian café, a modern New York loft style bar or a cosy pub vibe.
1. Feed yourself
Make yourself a delicious meal. Either go to your Pinterest food board and pick a super healthy recipe you’ve been eyeing up, or make yourself the meal your mum used to make you when you were ill. I couldn’t say whether I prefer my favourite fajita chicken salad Buddha bowl with avocado or fish fingers, chips and spaghetti hoops!
2. Just move
If you’re feeling anxious, sad, restless, happy, excited or bored! Go to the gym, go for a walk, go to a class – there is legitimately nothing better for your mind, body and soul than getting some fresh air and a sweat on. It took me too long to learn this, but it’s the best lesson I ever learnt.
3. Have a bath
Warm bubbles, twinkling candles, your favourite music in the background – sounds like heaven. Pampering yourself is always a good idea, it’s some serious alone time to reboot, if you can afford a spa or a massage – treat yourself, you definitely deserve it.
I use this term very loosely, some people find it easy, others really struggle, I’m in the middle. The best thing I ever found was this little beauty, and it’s my meditation when I need some calm, because I find all I need to do is concentrate on my breathing. Breathe in until the octagon is full, and then out until it disappears.
2. Turn it off
There is so much about digital detoxes now, and as a digital manager I need this more than most. When you’re out to dinner leave your phone in your bag, when you’re talking to your friend or catching up on your day do it verbally – not via social updates. I often turn on the do not disturb mode when I’m indulging in some alone time.
3. Do it now
If you can. So that’s kind of an oxymoron but the more you think about something the bigger and worse it becomes. If it’s a bill, pay it, an errand just do it now – you’ll spend the whole day/week/month thinking about it otherwise, that’s so much wasted mind-space. And the ‘if you can’t bit’, if you can’t afford to pay something call them and tell them and they’ll help you – you’ve taken the first step, if you haven’t got time to go and help with a random request (have you overstretched yourself again?) just tell them you can’t do it. If they’re not things you can fix right now, write them down, make a list, that in itself will make you feel better.
1. Believe in yourself
I think it’s so important to believe that you can achieve whatever you put your mind to. I think it’s extremely important to be able to stand on your own two feet, a lot of anxiety/insecurity comes from feeling vulnerable especially as women. So I make it my business to look after myself. Whether that’s making it through a mediocre day, or running a marathon, I’ve grown to believe in myself, to be independent, to know that I can do it, not all day every day, but I know when it comes down to it ‘I’ve got this’ – and it’s a great feeling, one we should encourage in everyone.
2. Be proud of yourself
Remember that feeling when your parents would tell you that they’re proud of you, it feels just as great when you say it to yourself. You don’t have to recite it in a mirror, just take a moment when you’ve smashed a PB, made an amazing dinner, taken a tiny step – you did it – celebrate yourself. The team laugh at me for buying myself presents, not just Birthdays or Valentine's Day, but if I've worked hard or I need a little pick me up, I treat myself! My most recent was a mantra, embodying my belief in myself...
When you think of the single most important thing to you right now it’s your family, your friends, your partner isn’t it. Tell them, tell them every day, squeeze your nephews and nieces cheeks and tell them how unbelievably gorgeous they are and how much you love them, message your mates out of the blue and let them know how incredible they are, let your partner know just how much they mean to you, let your family know they are your world. Nothing bad can come out of loving truly and deeply, feels like the world needs a lot of love at the moment so lets spread it like wildfire...